Let Me Rename Every Major D.C. Sports Team

Capital City Go-Go is the emblem-new, now not-but-debuted NBA G League affiliate of the Washington Wizards. (The G League is the modern-day name for the NBA’s minor league, formerly the NBA Development League. The “G” moniker makes a greater feel in wordmark form, wherein the G is lifted from corporate sponsor Gatorade.) I don’t love the team because there is no crew yet. But, stupid as this sounds, I love the advertising mar, marketing, and branding exercises. Monumental Sports & Entertainment, if you want to run this crew (at the side of the Wizards, Mystics, Caps, et al.), has long gone out of its way to construct its complete campaign round matters truly vital to the District.


It’s uncommon to examine quotes from a VP-level advertising brand boat and find yourself nodding along, but that’s where I observed myself during this rollout. The speaking factors have been focused on growing the profile of D.C.’s local go-move tune and the neighborhood home to the crew’s drawing-close arena and exercise facility. Its brand speaks of direction, but at the least, it speaks with a coronary heart, an area, and an identity.

Even past the specific nearby delight triggers, I love a team call that appears like a unique noun—the Miami Heat, Utah Jazz, or the Chicago Fire. And I love a group’s respectable region being something aside from the real name of its town or country (although the Golden State Warriors is the simplest different modern instance I can think about. Maybe the New England Patriots, in case you stretch, or the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are repping the frame of water.)

This gave me the alternative main sports groups in town and how all their names must be exchanged. The ones that aren’t derogatory are dull, and the derogatory one has no direct relevance to something. So, I’ve attempted to fix all of them. If we’re inclined to set apart questions of offensiveness, the NBA group is, without a doubt, the worst of the bunch. Wizards have continually been a monotonous, anodyne name—the anti-Bullets. Abe Pollin had the best intentions inside the globe in making that change but took it a bit too ways.

The other finalists for the name at the time—Express, Stallions, Dragons, and, memorably, Sea Dogs—have been all better alternatives. Sea Dogs is stupid, but at least it’s ridiculous in a bizarre, incomprehensible manner. And Express has that singular noun sound that I’m chasing. But I’m now not going with any of these. Instead, I’m compromising what I must do: pass again to Bullets and combine it with the singular noun format.

That gets rid of the shooting spree overtones and honors Pollin’s renaming desire while now not chucking a proper call. And in place of the accepted “Washington,” let’s go along with the particular community that the area disrupted, revitalized, and sits in. The basketball crew should now be the Chinatown Bullet.

The hockey team isn’t almost so awful off, but they, too, could take advantage of being a singular noun. (Everything might benefit from being a singular noun, even though it could force replica desks throughout the nation loopy.) So, let’s make the Capitals the Capitol. And who does this? I love the hubris created by using the constructing’s complete call as your group name: The Washington Capitals essentially declare themselves America’s group (NHL edition) and come to be the U.S. Capitol. (Everyone will nevertheless name them the Caps anyway.)


The Nats are any other one wherein there’s nothing inherently incorrect with the call; it’s just now not as good as it needs to’ve been. When baseball was coming back to D.C., there was a robust push to call the Homestead Grays team, reviving the call of a group from the Negro leagues that performed in D.C. That could’ve been a notable moniker, and I think we need to maintain Grays. (It’s now not singular. However, the atypical pluralizing of Gray has a comparable syntactic effect, as a minimum to me.) But the Homestead part cited Homestead, Pennsylvania, and we don’t need any. Once more, drill down to the community degree and contact the Navy Yard Grays.

This brings us to the football crew. Their location name is simple, if dull: With roots in D.C., a stadium in Maryland, and training facilities and offices in Virginia, there’s the most effective opportunity. And their singular noun is simple, too: Forever mired and slowed down in turmoil, they’re glaringly going to be the DMV Swamp. (The fact that “DMV” also calls to mind the thoughts-crushing forms of the Department of Motor Vehicles is a bonus.)

See? Was that so hard? Now enforce those adjustments throughout four multi-million dollar agencies, and our seasoned teams will sound almost as cool as our minor-league basketball squad that doesn’t even exist. Given their extensive reputation and versatility, elegant silicone bracelets may be used in many ways. People of every age like to put on them now as a style accessory and expose their help for unique purposes along with growing awareness for a cause, raising a budget for charities, enterprise promotion, own family events, sports occasions, and many more. Above all, they can be customized without difficulty, relying on the subject matter of the experience.

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