It would help if you recognized your counterpart’s aspect of the argument to negotiate nicely. Know what they want, understand what they will comply with, and, if viable, realize it better than they do. It would help if you recognized your counterpart’s aspect of the argument to negotiate nicely. Know what they want, understand what they will comply with, and, if viable, realize it better than they do. This isn’t easy, but Peter B. Stark and Jane Flaherty describe the stairs you may take to acquire and produce such information in their recently revised e-book, “The Only Negotiating Guide You’ll Ever Need: A Hundred and One Ways to Win Every Time in Any Situation.”
Here’s what they endorse:
To obtain lots, be organized. “A negotiation is not an occasion; it’s far a system,” Stark and Flaherty write. “The side with the most first-class records generally receives the higher outcome.” You want to increase thorough expertise of what your counterpart is searching out and thinking.
Deepak Malhotra: a Harvard Business School professor and expert on the artwork
CNBCDeepak Malhotra: a Harvard Business School professor and expert on negotiation. Stark and Flaherty use the instance of a person shopping for an automobile. They write that the buyer “can get competitive bids and records about the strengths and weaknesses of the vendor’s service or product.”Unless you work in the vehicle commercial enterprise, you probably won’t know more about the auto you want than the provider. But if you put the effort in, you could at the least be extra organized than fellow customers and more prepared than the provider expects, they write. If you do not, the provider will win, you will lose, and you’ll emerge as paying more than you ought to.
‘Stop talking and listen.’
“Stop speaking me and pay attention,” write Stark and Flaherty. “The satisfactory negotiators are nearly constantly the best listeners.” Excellent listeners pay attention interactively — clarifying and verifying, reflecting deeply on new information, and forming considerate responses. “Get to realize your counterpart,” they are saying. “Ask probing questions.”
Suzy Welch: This is human beings’ biggest mistake when negotiating revenue. Suzy Welch: This is the most serious mistake humans make when dealing with profits. “An empathetic person is aware and relates to the opposite person’s emotions,” they upload. Empathetic listening lets you realize the implicit goals beneath your counterpart’s phrases. You can infer what they want while not having them sincerely say it.
Give them what they need.
Perhaps one of the more sudden factors that Stark and Flaherty make is this: “The best outcome for almost all negotiations is win-win.”
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The pleasant negotiators discover an answer that lets them get what they want and satisfy their counterparts. “The needs and goals of both events are met so that they each stroll away with fantastic feeling — a willingness to negotiate with every different again.”
“Creating a win-lose situation is no longer the excellent business,” they say. “Almost all win-lose relationships become lose-lose over the years.” And the excellent way to keep away from this is to understand exactly what your counterpart desires and realize it properly.
What IS assertive communication?
Assertive communication can express positive and negative ideas and feelings openly, honestly, and directly. It recognizes our rights while still respecting the rights of others. It allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming others. And it will enable us to constructively confront and find a mutually satisfying solution where conflict exists.
So why use help assertive tips in communication?
We all use assertive behavior when we feel vulnerable or unsure of ourselves; we may resort to submissive, manipulative, or aggressive behavior. Yet, training in powerful communication increases the appropriate use of this behavior. It enables us to swap old behavior patterns for a more positive approach to life. I’ve found that changing my response to others (be they work colleagues, clients, or even my own family) can be exciting.
The advantages of assertive communication
There are many advantages of assertive communication, most notably these:
- It helps us feel good about ourselves and others
- It leads to the development of mutual respect with others
- It increases our self-esteem
- It helps us achieve our goals
- It minimizes hurting and alienating other people
- It reduces anxiety
- It protects us from being taken advantage of by others
- It enables us to make decisions and free choices in life
- It allows us to express, both verbally and non-verbally, a wide range of feelings and thoughts, both positive and negative
There are, of course, disadvantages
Disadvantages of assertive communication
Others may not approve of this style of communication or may not approve of the views you express. Also, having a healthy regard for another person’s rights means you won’t always get what YOU want. You may also find out that you were wrong about your viewpoint. But most importantly, as mentioned earlier, it involves the risk that others may not understand and, therefore, not accept this communication style.
What assertive communication is not? Strong communication is NOT a lifestyle! It’s NOT a guarantee that you will get what you want. It’s NOT an acceptable communication style with everyone, but at least it’s NOT aggressive.
But it IS about choice.
Four behavioral choices
As I see it, there are four choices you can make about which communication style you can employ. These types are:
direct aggression: bossy, arrogant, bulldozing, intolerant, opinionated, and overbearing
indirect aggression: sarcastic, deceiving, ambiguous, insinuating, manipulative, and guilt-inducing
submissive: wailing, moaning, helpless, passive, indecisive, and apologetic
assertive: direct, honest, accepting, responsible, and spontaneous
Characteristics of Assertive Communication
There are six main characteristics of assertive communication. These are:
- eye contact: demonstrates interest, shows sincerity
- body posture: congruent body language will improve the significance of the message
- gestures: appropriate gestures help to add emphasis
- voice: a level, well-modulated tone is more convincing and acceptable and is not intimidating
- timing: use your judgment to maximize receptivity and impact
- content: how, where, and when you choose to comment is probably more important than WHAT you say
The importance of “I” statements
Part of being assertive involves expressing your needs and feelings appropriately. You can accomplish this by using “I” statements. These indicate ownership, do not attribute blame, focus on behavior, identify the the effect of conduct, are direct and honest, and contribute to the growth of your relationship strong “I” statements have three specific elements:
- Behavior
- Feeling
- Tangible effect (consequence to you)
Example: “I feel frustrated when you are late for meetings. I don’t like having to repeat information.”
Six techniques for assertive communication
There are six powerful techniques – let’s look at each in turn.
1. Behaviour Rehearsal: practicing how you want to look and sound. It is a beneficial technique when you first want to use “I” statements. It helps dissipate any emotion associated with an experience and allows you to accurately identify the behavior you wish to confront.
2. Repeated Assertion (the ‘broken record’): this technique allows you to feel comfortable by ignoring manipulative verbal side traps, argumentative baiting, and irrelevant logic while sticking to your point. To use this technique most effectively, use calm repetition, say what you want, and stay focused on the issue. You’ll find that there is no need to rehearse this technique or to ‘hype yourself up to deal with others.
